Why writers are insecure

Honeyloupe

What if I’m actually just bad at it, though? Writing I mean? HAHAHA. Thanks for sharing. Good introspective piece. Takes a lot of guts to share this stuff.

Jtstoryman

In the beginning, isn’t everyone? The first time a violin student draws a bow across the strings, it’s not beautiful, I can tell you.

We spend a lot of time focusing on whether our stories are connecting with other people, and it makes perfect sense, since it’s usually that connection that we crave. Why do we care? Because what comes out of us is of us.

We are writers. We are people whose inner selves express themselves in written conversation and story. Being “good at it” is secondary, in a way. The most important question is “Are we true to it?”

Are we listening to our inner Muse and finding a way to give it expression? Learning to be good at it is, for most people, something that comes with time, experience, and lots and lots of practice, just like with most forms of art. Why do we care to? Because we’re trying to best express something that’s inside of us and wants to come out and connect with others.

It’s why we care so much about the result. Right?

Honeyloupe

It definitely is difficult at first. When I put my first submission ever on here, I was an anxious wreck. In my heart of hearts I knew it wouldn’t land with anyone. But I couldn’t be certain. And that’s because I’ve never been taught how to land something with anyone; I couldn’t possibly know if it would or would not land. Eventually, when you find what does and doesn’t work, you will know looking at something you’ve made whether or not you should or shouldn’t like it. It’s all about knowing what we know that we don’t know.

I’m typing gibberish. Golly I’m tired.

Jacksavage

What are you saying?

I’m not insecure, you’re insecure.

What do you mean? I’m getting defensive? No, I’m not.

Paulpowell

I see no reason for insecurity if one is creating original content in this era, when most of the modern world is incompetent at what they do.

Anyone who grows up with ‘apps’ to carry out all their tasks --I label that ‘assisted-living’. No innate craftsmanship or artistry, no reflexes or instincts. Zero level ‘know-how’.

Button-pushers never create a single thing which has any soul.

Whereas, creative writing is one of the few skills left which can’t be aped or simulated. Voices are unique; experiences are (or should be) singular.

Besides: if you get signed to a six-figure contract for something you merely-piddle-around-with-in-your-spare-time …when everyone else is surviving on Nongshim noodles in today’s up-and-down economy? Hold your head up high.

Yeah there’s the whole ‘AI’ controversy, but that’s just a tempest-in-a-teacup.

Honeyloupe

I think the fear is being that “incompetent” one in the modern world at writing.

Jacksavage

Love this.

Wmmts22

so glad the “reverse imposter syndrome” was brought up because i’ve been using that term for years. it sometimes annoys me how much actual imposter syndrome is talked about because then people assume that’s always the case—i’ll tell someone how my writing sucks sometimes and they’re like “oh no i’m sure it’s great that’s just the imposter syndrome!!” no. no you don’t get it

Lmedlyn

I feel this comment to my core. lol

Jacksavage

We are all bad at it to begin with. But with helpful critters, we improve.

Thinking in black and white terms, good and bad, doesnt aid anyone.

Improvement is all that matters.

Self doubt is your best friend… it tells you when the writing is feels off… The more you trust it, the more is tells you, and if you listen real close, it will also let you know how to fix it.

Self doubt is your writer’s gut instinct. Trust it!

Glitterpen

Good blog post!

Why do we fear this hobby?

For me, it’s the idea of being judged, and the reality that I may face a lot of rejection during the querying phase. Both of these things are uncomfortable. The fear of what others will think can be so strong that we get “writer’s block.” So much anxiety, it gets hard to think. Writing goes smoothly for me if I can avoid thinking of what others will think. I try to believe it will resonate with someone out there.

Luluo

Yeah, I’m on board with this “reverse imposter syndrome” thing. It basically sums up my (and probably most of our) experiences perfectly.

I will have to go ahead and disagree with one particular part of the blog though:

This could all be a case of the neurodivergence.

But the fact that I’m different has made the reverse imposter syndrome even worse. Why share my opinions when few will understand me due to my lack of talent and even fewer will understand me from my neurological differences?

Most writers these days, it seems, claim to be “on the spectrum,” or to be suffering from some kind of mental issue, so the idea that “no one will understand because I’m different” is a bit misplaced. You’re actually in good company in this space, from what I can tell. It’s those of us who aren’t sporting one of those labels who are the odd ones out.

I, personally, know all about insecurity, but I have none of these neuro-whatever/depression/anxiety things. My theory: All of our insecurity is caused by a bad case of “being a person.” Doesn’t matter what kind of person you are.

Lvocem

I’ve friends and family that tell me that they want to write a book. I tell them, go ahead and do it. Then they do nothing.

So what separates the writers from the non-writers. A neurological condition? Maybe, but not all the time. I am dyslectic. Even when I wrote the word dyslectic it came out wrong, so the spell checker tried to correct it and I had to type it several times. Also I see words phonetically and English is not a phonetic language. More problems. But that doesn’t make me a writer.

To me, the one thing that makes me a writer and what I see other writers seem to have the same thing is an oversensitivity to events. That may manifest in strange ways. But you notice smell, you notice, temperature, sound, the expression on people’s eyes. Then you are also sensitive to that sixth sense. You see it. You feel it. Consequently you want to express it.

Insecurity is based on doubt. You doubt yourself. But think about it. Your Kriptonite is actually your most powerful weapon, because from that insecurity you are allow to question everything, even your own sense of purpose. In that energy, in that maelstrom of confusion lies great fiction.

I’ve known people that claimed they were not insecure. They boasted that they could sit down and dictate to their phones their stories and there were done, perfect. Then you punch holes into their stories and instead of editing, they trash them in frustration. Sad. These, very sure of themselves, secure people ended up quitting. If you are not going to do good work why even bother, they said. They never learned the most important lesson of any creative pursuit. You have to start with shit.

So be vulnerable, be insecure, dare go to the lowest of the low, experiment, fail, shit a lot.

To create the most beautiful rose, you must start with manure.

Thatguy5

I’m just insecure because I see everyone else, and see my quality of work compared to theirs, and see how bad mine is.

Wmmts22

I’m not saying your work is good (I haven’t read it) but this could also be because you’re more familiar with it. I’ll read my work from years ago I know is bad (or at least worse than currently) but it still seems to read better than what I’ve recently written, just because I don’t remember it

Kuchynka

The reasons writing is so hard are the same reasons relationships are so hard. It’s about communicating and connecting to meet others needs so you can get your own needs met in return.

And the reason so many writers are on the spectrum is because writing can tend to attract those that feel lacking in connection.

But most people on the spectrum seem to think they have an especially difficult time connecting to others because they think they can’t relate to them.

This is not true and does most writers a deep disservice to think like this.

Connecting to another human being is a complex process. Every human being has their own reality whether they are on the spectrum or not.

And like it or not, every single human being has the ability to sense when your needs are greater than their needs. And like it or not, every human being has the desire to be needed.

So when you let yourself think you have trouble relating to other people, what you’re really thinking is that you are either beneath them or above them.

That is not a desirable connection to have.

You end up talking at people and trying to make them understand you instead of having a conversation and actually connecting.

That’s why writing is so hard. You cannot force people to connect. And the best way to practice connecting is what most writers do not want to hear.

It’s in the real world. It’s not continually working on writing.

Kuchynka

And I’m going to add, feeling rejected is a very painful thing for every single human.

When you’re really being rejected because you were actually completely vulnerable and had it dismissed.

That is an instinctive fear.

And what I see most writers do is be too vulnerable too often.

You do not need to bare your soul to connect with people.

People actually are much more attracted to people that slowly and carefully reveal their vulnerabilities.

Because a person that is slow and careful with their vulnerabilities is actually interacting with the situation they are currently in. They are being present and responsive to stimuli.

When you are just instantly vulnerable with people, you are projecting everything in the interaction and trying to control it.

You are attempting to force acceptance and it will lead to instant rejection because no human mind likes to be forced.

Jacksavage

precisely where I am at. Every night since i returned to working on my story, when dawn rises, i get up and wonder, do I really want to be be chained to a laptop every night? Is this actually what I want? Do I even enjoy it?
That’s leading me to the idea that I am writing in the wrong genre. But still the question remains… do I even want to be a writer? Do I want this workload with no guarantee of success? Will the workload become lighter with experience?

Maybe I should write shorter simpler novels. I bit off more than I could chew with this one. Probably not, if I had had all the tools I have now to begin with… But the editing process feels never ending

Electric

I’m right where you’re at right now TBH